Should I expect to be happy all the time?

Um, no.

How it works is like this: If you raise your Happiness Quotient (HQ) then you will have a underlying sense of happiness even when nothing in particular is going on. This is the key to living a life you love.

If something 'bad' happens - then of course it will affect you. If, for example, somebody you care about dies, then of course you will feel sad and grieve. It hurts. However, if your HQ is high, then you will be able to keep functioning at a reasonable level, and bounce back much faster then someone who's HQ is lower.

Pain is inevitable - we all experience pain at times in our lives. But suffering is optional.

And good things can come from something we first thought was 'bad'.

So If you raise your HQ you will have much more resilience, more willingness to see the silver lining than the black cloud, and your suffering will disappear.

It's all about the numbers!

I often use this wheel as a starting point for clients who may not be clear on what they want to work on first. Truth is, most clients come in to see me for one issue, but after a while, we discover that they really need to work on something else first - and then the first issue tends to just disappear! 

It's also really useful to put a numeric value on something you want to change - so you can measure your results. If a client scores him or herself a '4' on finances, for example, then first I help them see what a '10' might look like for them. Not what a '10' might look like for me or anyone else. It's all about the client's model of the world. 

Then we explore what steps the client can see are possible to get them from a '4' to a '10'. EG First, pay off the credit card debt - numbers help here too, obviously. So, how much will they reduce the debt by each month? Then a savings target, using the money no longer required for credit card debt servicing.  

I create a workbook of all their goals, broken down into daily, weekly or monthly steps. This personalised workbook become their bible for the next 12 months.  It has their photo on the front and their goals inside. Every other page is blank in their workbook, so they can write notes, add pics, or use it in any way they works for them.

They bring it with them for each meeting with me, and we look at their progress. Any areas that need adjustment are tackled and if they need help overcoming negative thoughts or beliefs I do that too. 

At the end of 12 months, we fill out the chart again, see their progress, and set new or extended goals for the next year.  

What amazes me is the way to take it and run with the idea... often adding their own extra goals or steps and using the completion of the steps as it's own reward. Celebrating success is really important, but it does not have to be 'big' or significant. Having built up a big enough savings account to use a debit card from now on can be celebrated by ceremoniously cutting up your credit card! 

But the real reward is how proud you feel about yourself. How your opinion of yourself goes up and your confidence grows. 

I have a special offer for the 2012 New Year - this price will not last so grab it now and call me today.  

Should I stay or should I go?

If you are struggling with a decision about whether to stay or leave a marriage or relationship...

The cost of broken marriages and relationships is staggeringly high. Not just in financial terms (although that can set you back 10 years or more) but in the flow through effect on your future happiness and that of your children. Perhaps your partner will marry again, and someone you don't even know will have a hand in raising your children. Perhaps your children will blame you and even hate you a bit. Worse, perhaps they will blame themselves.

It really is worth doing everything you can to see if you can not just stay together, but recapture the love and passion you once had.

I'm running a series of workshops for people just like you. There are five all together, but it's absolutely fine to just attend one or more. Everyone who attends the first one will get access to a special offer for the next four.

Attendees will also have an opportunity to get individual coaching.

For more information, go to my website.

If it doesn't kill you, will you get stronger?

Why do we have challenges? How do we react when faced with challenges?

Do we 'relish the battle'?

How can we revel in victory if we never fight the good fight?

Is the sense of accomplishment greater if we had to overcome obstacles to reach our goals?

How can we grow if we never face challenges we need to overcome?

If it was too easy, do we feel a little cheated? And want to take on something a bit tougher?

Are we living life or waiting to die?

What is the next step you need to take to make progress towards your goals?

When will you do it?

Do you need help?

Who can help you?

Is you next step calling someone?

If you think I can help, call me.

The Extraordinarily Talented Freddie Mercury.

September 5 would have been Freddie Mercury's 65th birthday.
Here's Queen's Wembly Stadium appearance for Live Aid.

Laughing is sooooo good for you!

Laughing babies.

If this does not lift your mood, then call me because you need help!

Optical illusion.

The picture is not moving. It is an illusion. We see what our brain want us to see. Not what is actually there.

How would changing what you see make a difference for you?

(Click on the image for a larger version.)